30 September 2009

Best. Art. Ever.

Ok folks. Art has reached its apotheosis. All you painters, sculptors, musicians and poets, nice try. Thanks for playing. Go do something useful, because ya done got served!

First there was Arnold "We Are Here to Pump You Up (In Your Spirit Muscles)!" Friberg.

Then the gentler, more photorealistic Del "Ja, den där er Jesus!" Parson.

And we can't forget Thomas "Paint the Light!" Kincade.

But now a new luminary graces us with his art. An art to end all art. Jon "It's a McNaughton!" McNaughton.

BEHOLD!



I know, you're stunned. But there's more. Just in case you're like me, and The Full Meaning of this marvelous, "symbol*"-laden Depiction of Pure Truth (ya heard?) overcomes your aesthetic and congnitive capacities, the Artist has provided (via the magic of the interwebs) an explanatory apparatus here. Trail your mouse pointer over the various Symbols to see their explanations rendered in Truth No Less Powerful for Its Clarity.

And if those explanations aren't enough, you can always join me in taking one of Brother McNaughton's workshops. Know this, though:
One last word—I will endeavor to teach you everything I know except for one thing—"The Grand Master Secret." This is the most important principle I can teach, but I am cautious to whom I reveal it. I have had only a handful of students who have solved the code in the back of the wordbook. I truly believe it is the key to knowledge.
I'm totally going to figure out that code. (I wonder if Brother McNaughton's Grand Master Secret is anything like this guy's.)

Post your favorite parts in the comments section, that we all may be edified. (Note: be sure to check out the titles of books and the court cases littering the steps. And don't forget to look in the sky.)

UPDATE: A friend sent me this alternative interpretation. Once again, let your mouse do the walking.

UPDATE 2: Another friend sent me this parody, which is only slightly less frightening than the original. Witness: "One Nation under Chthulu."

___________
*Warning: Symbols not actually symbols, but literal depictions. From the OED: symbol (n.), 2. a. Something that stands for, represents, or denotes something else (not by exact resemblance, but by vague suggestion, or by some accidental or conventional relation); esp. a material object representing or taken to represent something immaterial or abstract, as a being, idea, quality, or condition; a representative or typical figure, sign, or token. (Emphasis mine.)

Credits: Hat tip to Old Sport for bringing this wonder to my attention in the first place, and to Swearing Elder for directing me to the workshops.

15 September 2009

I Must Pummel These Thoughts Out of My Mind

RIP, Patrick.




We'll sleep well knowing you're killing Commies in heaven...

25 August 2009

Just Try Not to Smile

An oldie but goodie.

New Home Phone Number

My Special Ladyfriend (hereafter MSL) and I live on campus housing here in Happy Valley East and so receive our local phone service through PSU's telecommunications system.

This fall, Penn State is removing the telephones in all their unmarried student facilities because they've noticed that most undergrads never use the landline in their dorm room (preferring instead their cell phones).

Which brings us to the reason I'm telling you about this in the first place. Even though we live in family housing and even though our landline has not been disconnected, our beloved phone number was "lost" along with the thousands of undergraduate lines disconnected last week. We've got a new landline number. If you want it, please send me an e-mail at shutuprichard (at gmail dot com).

MSL's and my cell phone numbers remain the same.

19 August 2009

Effin' A.

25 April 2009

Symmetry...

222222
... is a beautiful thing. Toyota should hire me to run their current ad campaign.

24 April 2009

Suck it, BYU!*

He's outtie, nerds!



Congratulations on your graduation, MASTER B!


_____
*Yes, I hold degrees from BYU, and I definitely got a great education there. Good friends of mine (my respect for whom knows no bounds) teach there. My parents, siblings, and wife studied there, and all came away the better for it.

It's like my mission. I'm glad I did it, but...

22 April 2009

If you need

If you need

a laugh

to rest

something of beauty

a surprise ally

the perfect ornament

a triple-shot whole-milk two-Splenda latte on the sly (tall)

something to look forward to

a wicked snark

comfortable pants

reasons:

you will have to do

your best

to imitate her.



Happy birthday, Lola!

20 April 2009

I defy you...

...to tell the difference.

One is my sister, the other my daughter. Can you guess which is which?